extra scary

I've been thinking about why the prospect of a brain tumor is so particularly scary. For me, a person who has spent pretty much her entire life studying and learning, getting a PhD, etc., I've reached the point where I think my brain is basically all I have to offer. It would be like a model as confronted by a disfiguring skin disease.

My dad is one of the smartest people I've ever known (mathsmart and booksmart, that is, not peoplesmart or common-sense-smart). It is a defining factor.

Another defining factor is his particular propensity for black humor and impolotic statements: for example his multiple reminders that this kind of tumor is probably at least somewhat hereditary. On the other hand, he grew up in Los Alamos, and the backround radiation history can't be ignored.