the pen

There is this guy in my biostats class who annoys me. He always comes in late, and then he sits behind me. He throws his bag and bicycle helmet on the ground - effectively blocking the row. Then he kicks the back of my seat, steps on my bag, and sometimes even kicks my elbow. I glare at him a lot.

Yesterday in lab he needed to borrow a pen from someone, and I thought that I would try to be nice and lend him one.

During the lab, I noticed that he was playing with the pen - fondling the pen. He was molesting my pen! I was regretting the pen-lending decision.

And, since I am also kind of cynical and paranoid, I was vaguely convinced that he was doing it on purpose and that he didn't really intend to give the pen back. And, since I am also kind of stubborn, I was absolutely determined to get the pen back no matter what.

Later in the lab I noticed that he was sticking the end of the pen in his shoe! Why? Why was he putting a borrowed pen down his shoe? In and out of the shoe. Ick.

Then he was putting the pen on his mouth! He was putting the part of the pen that had, minutes before, been in his shoe directly on his face and lips. Ick ick ick.

"Shit" I thought, "I'm going to have to wash that pen." I was still determined to get it back, though! He thought that putting the pen in his shoe and mouth was going to discourage me? He thought he was going to get to keep MY pen?

It occurred to me that if he put the pen down his pants, that would be my limit. Luckily, he didn't. What he does with his pens in private is not something that I ever intend to learn...

So it was the end of the class, and I was ready to leave. He was still sitting there playing with my pen. I walked right up and asked for it back. Then I threw it in the bottom of my bag and left.

I still need to wash it.